Monday, January 29, 2007
listening to: moon by sia.
feeling: passive.
it was a good weekend.
realisation that the ever-looming exams that are quickly catching up hit me today, like how that shot of espresso jolts you up at 5 am on a gloomy monday morning, or hitting your shin on the sharp corner of a school table, sending rushes of electricity through the motor-end plates of your nerve endings to synapse with another, resulting in a quickly enunciated gasp.
or something.faced with a cocktail of emotions, i've been dwarfed by the choices i'll be facing. the usual "which university, which country, what to major in" and so forth. plus the prospects of finally moving away from home, being an 'independant woman' and having to stand on my own two feet (sort of) humbles me greatly.
as an impeccable planner of life, i'd love to go with the flow, but find myself unable to bring myself to just let go and follow that worn down statement. should i honestly be trusted to make such huge decisions that'll affect the rest of my life? i'm still young and have years to live and savour. also, i don't have that much trust in my own choices, being a teenager and whatnot. now, i'm not dissing my age group, but let's face cold hard facts here... we're not the brightest bulb of the lot, are we? generally speaking, of course.
there's still so much i'd love to do, experiences i need to enjoy, moments to create before i leave this 'abode of peace', and though i know i've complained about it a lot, i'm realising just how good i've actually got it. especially now more than ever.
seriously though, i know i've still got two more years of school to dread. even more so since it'll apparently be the two worst years of my school life, also known as "IB". but i just can't help but feel that my time here on this lush island is coming to a close. i'll be sad, there's no doubt. there'll be times when i wish i never grew up, i know. but let me just relish these last years and create a closure that'd make anybody proud. it's nice to know that i feel the acceptance is slowly seeping in though.
so, what has this post accomplished? jackshit, but that's what i'm here for, right? or nottttt. haha.
hello, world. i'm ready to start that new chapter of my life. (: