Friday, March 10, 2006
listening to: snap by slipknot & jumpdafuck up by soulfly ft corey.
--skip past the following if you don't want to read an agro rant.--
mm. so alot of shit stuff has been happening at school. not just the usual bitching, backstabbing and breaking of hearts.. but other things.
my english class is very pissed off with my english teacher who failed basically all of the class except for me&two other people, [don't ask me why not me.. i mean i got called in by my head of the grade for being a bitch to him, so i dont get it either.] anyways they've all been bitching about him and now people don't speak in class and parents have even been called in. i mean, yes i understand why everybody is angry but im also kinda pissed off at them because some people accused me of getting good marks because of my "looks". yes, it couldn't be because dian actually does her coursework, unlike you, could it? couldn't be because she's got more than just "looks" to her, could it? it couldn't be because she can actually pass a fucking class and get good grades, could it? would you like to then explain howthefuck i've managed to get into top sets? is it because of my "looks" for those too eh? siigh, but other than that incident, i kinda get them. he's been snapping at people for the smallest things now and i think he's finally lost it with the class; who usually used to shout alot and say irrelevant things. and as somebody said: "our grade isn't afraid to speak our minds." obviously that was stated by somebody in my grade...
we're a grade doomed to work in a take-away joint whilst those other grades enjoy high paying jobs.
not that im saying im any better, im just being a
drama queen and vindictive little bitch at the moment but i shall revel in the feelings for the moment till i regret ever saying all this later.
uhm also two guys in my business class walked out after ripping up work. i mean that doesn't seem major; but it's
who the two people are that shock me. i don't know why and what fully happened but i guess i'll find out when i actually go back to school. people love to talk; its inevitable that i'll hear about it.
and erm. primary has been shut down because of the foot and mouth disease thingy thing. because of that.. oliver has been postponed till april. i suppose its good for
ms swan because it gives her more time to relax and prepare for it. haha, shes been so stressed out about that and freaking out at every little thing.
eeps.oh yeh, i've been staying home because i just can't stand it. im afraid i'll finally lose it because i'm so fed up, so i've been bumming around my house. walking around in my aussino pajamas and plonking down on my couch infront of the teevee with a mug of hot chocolate and a thick slice of chocolate cake. for the first time in ages, i was
happy&carefree.
this sucks
ass because there's
so much i'd like to say and way more things i want to write to release the tension and anger. it sucks when you've created a blog to express emotions but arent able to because of complications. theres so much more i want to say and let out, but im not going to be stupid because you never know.. people could actually read this. i can't even voice my full opinion because there'd be somebody who'd get all pissy and type some shitty little comment trying to defend themselves and insult me. should there be a limit to the items you type about? should there be a limit to the emotions you express? or should we continue to bottle it up inside and never tell anybody your problems, waiting for it to build up till the day you
snap, like an elastic band thats been stretched too much. thats one thing to be said about anonymous blogging. when you do try to say what you truly feel or mean, you're attacked for it because they don't like what you're saying. even if its the truth, if it doesnt satisfy them; they refuse to believe what you're saying.
people can't stand the truth. they'd rather hear lies.
immature.
dumbasses.
retarded.
stupid. rude.
self-centered.
sneaky.
selfish. crude.
blunt. dishonest.
jackshit. lame.
pathetic.
jealous. dipshits.
oblivious. backstabbing.
bitchy. just plain. fucking.
annoying.
the grade 11's graduate soon. i know i should be happy for them but im going to be selfish and not be. it means they'll leave. people who i don't want to ever leave me, shall vanish from my everyday life. yes, there'll always be the
"i'll stay in touch!", but let's face it, most of the time that never happens. they're moving onto brighter, better lives. given a chance to start over again, create new memories, make new friends, enjoy new moments...
i hate them for leaving.
some i shall never see again abd it just tears me up inside to know that. we all know it yet we're just pretending its not going to happen,
fake smiles and false hopes. good luck with your new lives, just promise not to forget the past. tears may be shed, but it's all for the better.
[this hasn't actually helped me calm down, its brought all the rage back. dammmiiiiiittt. i suppose its because i haven't let out everything.]
--end of agro rant.--
on a brighter note; i have new pictures loaded onto my
photoalbum of happy times. haha and
elaine has just told me about this caramel cheesecake blizzard she's addicted to. i want some.
shniff* and somebody, who i love
so so so so much, is most likely coming back to brunei to do ib at isb! hrhrhr. something to look forward to. right im going to crash infront of my tv with food and soppy movies. gahaha. laters.
xoxo*
_dee